Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
