Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
