You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can't turn off my feet"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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