You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
