is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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