I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
