You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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