Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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