He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
