i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
