My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
