The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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