I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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