So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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