it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
