dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
