Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ashton41592 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?

Fav 36 819 5094
share tweet
(810): View more from Michigan

Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.

Fav 14 4178 914
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her

Fav 13 1015 5919
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.

Fav 25 6004 1008
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.

Fav 6 4070 1111
share tweet
(714): View more from California

I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.

Fav 7 5531 1335
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.

Fav 13 3419 1544
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(661): View more from California

I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.

Fav 1 883 398
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..

(1-519): View more from Ontario

Well that would explain the bones in my purse.

Fav 0 64 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT