just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
