okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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