Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My hand turned me down
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
