i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
