Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
