I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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