4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You're like the curious george of whores
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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