ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This is not my ceiling
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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