how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
