I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
