How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
