somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
