Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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