Im at strip club and am horny
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Randomize
