his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize