can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Randomize
