I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
