this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
