just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
