I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
