So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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