Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
