just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
