is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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