The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
