You just made me feel so damn special
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
