i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
