I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
