Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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