She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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