Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
