After last night, I could never be a politician.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
