that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
