Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
