Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
