How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize