Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
