If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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