No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
