If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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