D3 body, D1 cock
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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