I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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